we had a chance to ride bicycles on the long trail through the woods from Klaipeda to Giruliai where the baby house is located last week. We did not imagine that we would make it that far when we started out. But, we stopped along the way for a snack and then continued further. When we got to the far side of Giruliai where the train tracks were, the boys recognized the train station as it was a nice walk from where they used to live. One thing led to another and we went on then to the baby house. We explored the outside territory and discovered new play furniture in place of some of the old things we had in pictures. But a few tried and true items were there.
David seemed to wander around with freedom but did not seem to clue in to memories at least in any way we detected. Erik has more memories and missed some of the things that were there before. He did not really want to go inside at all but David did. Eventually we all went in. Only 1 boys is left in the group where the boys were. In another group we found a couple of the caregivers that remembered the boys and had not seen them since we took them away 1 1/2 years ago.
When we were nearing the baby house, Erik said he did not want to go there because he did not want the woman in the blue car to take him away. We are not sure what that referred to. Certainly a memory of some kind stilll haunts him.
Today he light-heartedly also told us that he dreamed last night that mama and a preschool teacher were somewhere with him and mama said she was going to leave and not come back for him. I have often suspected he thought that about preschool. But this is the first that he said something this clearly.
How deeply these things run in a little child's mind.
We are sensing the boys continue to attach better and better to us and last Thursday when we got ready to leave them with a babysitter that has been with them over the last 2 months about once a week, they cried. First time. Partly they were getting away from naps not too long before. But it turned out to be a bad sign. When we returned they had given the babysitter a very hard time and she was at her wits end. Not crying of course, but simply not respecting or listening to her. It is one thing to attach to parents. Quite another it seems to consistently attach to a babysitter!!