Saturday, September 25, 2010

strong emotions

We wish we did not hear so much whining, crying, yelling and so on. To that end we had developed a chart that rewarded some good behaviors and also required chores for bad manners and for the often repeated bad behaviors. Erik has earned points on the rewarded behaviors, but this is something David is not too well able to value yet.

After too many days of loudness, fighting fussing and all, we decided this week that David needs to get to bed earlier and probably we need to get him out of school occasionally to get naps too. He slept fine the night after getting a nap, so that says something! David is still learning about staying in control of himself and mommy is realizing the wisdom of Daddy's observation that we need to keep on top of him- giving cues as soon as he starts his out of control laugh, or does repetitive behaviors.

For Erik the days at school are probably long too, though he did not complain this week. Last week when I went to get him early as he requested, he refused to go. So, at least he basically likes it there. But he is showing a stronger will and rudeness adn when we correct him, he has a hard time understanding. He feels very justified in resisting at any cost when he feels he has been misunderstood. And there are more of those times that we would like. Tpday he got a nap, first time in quite a while. The consequences for treating mommy the way he has been is that Daddy decided that he must put Erik to bed for the next 5 days.

I have to admit I do not remember being this angry before. Oh, I was angry in the early months, but I realized that the boys' behavior could not be helped because of all of the transition and what they had been used to. Now I find it hard to believe that Erik does not understand what he is doing. Yet, when we work on explaining it I do see that he does not read social cues correctly and does not understand much of the effects his behavior will have on the family.

No comments: